Friday, October 24, 2014

Fish And Chips - A Whole New Meaning!

A woman in Colombia used a rather bizarre means of contraception recently - she inserted a potato inside her private parts to avoid getting pregnant!
Who needs Durex?
The 22yr-old was hospitalised with severe pain early this month and the cause...was her potato contraceptive.
The nurse initially thought it was some sort of practical joke when she saw roots emerging from the woman's vagina, but the patient had indeed inserted the potato to prevent pregnancy - on the advice of her mother! Obviously, intullugunce does not run strongly in this family...
About two weeks after insertion, the woman suffered intense abdominal pain because the starchy tuber had germinated and was growing roots. Although plants do not normally grow inside the human body, the spud did so because it's a tuber that thrives in the dark.
Fortunately it was a relatively easy job to remove the plant, and doctors expect no lasting effects on the woman's body.
Unconventional means of preventing pregnancy are not just confined to Third World countries. A survey involving 1,500 UK women aged 25-34 revealed that some use sandwich bags, cling film and latex gloves in place of condoms!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

One Debt To Bind Them All

Movie trilogy The Hobbit has so far cost nearly NZ$1-billion!
Financial documents filed this month show production costs up 'til March hit NZ$934 million. This includes filming and digital effects completed over several years but not this year's production costs.
The docs give an unusually detailed account of a mega Hollywood production's costs. Typically, studios both under- and overestimate costs for publicity purposes. But here in NZ, to handle the trilogy, Warner set up a wholly-owned company that's filed regular publicly-available financials.
They show the production received US$122 million from kiwi taxpayers, through an incentive scheme designed to attract big budget movies to NZ. Such schemes are common in US and countries that compete for movies.
Per film however, these aren't the most expensive ever made... not yet! That record goes to Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End which cost about US$300 million (NZ$377m) to make.
Of course, the trade-off to this monumental cost is that the first two Hobbit movies took in a combined figure of almost DOUBLE that! So a stunning return, which of course can not calculate accurately the ├╝ber-value to NZ's tourism industry. There can be few who'd deny the incentive scheme has been money well-spent!
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies will be released this December (check out the promo).

Monday, October 20, 2014

Tit-Touching A Toothache Tonic?

Ahhh, THERE's that
pesky toothache!
If it LOOKS like a duck and QUACKS like a duck... it probably IS a duck!
So when a medical practitioner gropes your breast, telling you it's to fix your toothache... there's a HELLUVA lot of "quackery" goin' on!!
A woman's complained to police after a Christchurch osteopath massaged her boob for almost an hour to try to alleviate a toothache. WTF???!!!
The woman saw him earlier this month, after her dentist told her a toothache was caused by muscle tension. After an examination, "...he (the osteopath) subsequently massaged my breast and nipple area for almost an hour. He stated this was a normal and common treatment for toothache." The pain did not subside (surprise!) and she felt very uneasy afterwards "...but he was reassuring and sounded legitimate. I told myself my discomfort was because I was just old-fashioned and that I should stop being silly."
Silly? SILLY??!! STUPID, more like!!!
She seriously wants the Police to believe that she thought this was perfectly normal and legit??!!
And furthermore, before the tit treatment began, the woman told the osteopath that she'd struggled with depression since 15 after a difficult and abusive childhood. Why tell a total stranger that?! It's leaving the door wide open for emotional manipulation and more abuse!
In her complaint, the woman said she was left feeling powerless, violated and confused, believing the osteopath indecently assaulted her. This bint should instead be feeling gullible, thick, foolish, and needs to take a good hard look at her naivity!
Any medical person who cops an hour-long fondle in the name of fixing a toothache is havin' you on BIG time, and needs to be dealt to...! But similarly, anyone who buys into this buckum and allows it, is plain SIMPLE! Quack, quack, quack.